Thoughts About A Famous Saying

The other day, I was talking to a friend about the way people handle feelings and emotions, as well as the effect of things which penetrate their lives unannounced. Often times, the way we react is by rejection, refusal to deal with what's hurtful or harmful. Few of us manage to stare the devil in the face and confront it. Often times, is it because there's some truth in what he's telling us?

Me, I have worked hard to get to a place where whatever it is, I'd rather try to confront it, absorb it, see why it is that a certain emotion is overtaking me and a certain event - overcoming. I'm not always successful and it's many times a struggle. Anyway, this conversation with my friend has led to some thoughts.

The famous saying "My home is my fortress" - Anybody here who isn't familiar with it? The analogy is clear - I have a home; it's the most precious place, and I don't want any uninvited guest in there. So I build a wall, a fence, and a river of boiling oil to surround my home. Now I'm protected, ain't I? I have the key to the gate and that's it. I don't need to deal with those unwanted guests.

But there's another way to look at it: it's my home, and I call the shots. I'm secure in it without a fence and a wall. Anyone can get in, but I have the right and the power to kick them out. Sure, I sometime have to confront a mean one before the door closes behind their back; I may have to hear unpleasant things or view undesired truths. But so long as I have the power to terminate the encounter, why not listen? Let them in, let them present their case. If I can't stand them, or think they're hurting me - Out the door the go. I don't believe there are really too many mean devils who can actually take control over your home and your soul if you don't let them. With this strength, comes the ability to confront unpleasant facts, viewpoints, and emotions. If they make their case - They're in. Perhaps even invited to stay over for a while. If they don't - Out the door they're accompanied. It's my home and fortress - I can kick them out.

My personal experience has been that it's often a tremendous challenge and much easier said than done, but making even a little step towards this approach can have tremendous rewards for one's being in peace with him or her self.

Then, being the Palsef that I am, my thoughts somehow wondered to our society. Not a week goes by when we don't hear about a Kosher cellphone, an agreement by a theater not to post promotions to certain films on buses or in some neighborhoods, and even - would you believe that? - A recent piece of news about banned posters with a cartoon image of young women wearing dresses that show their legs.

Isn't that kind of an old version of My House Is My fortress? To me, it is a bit humorous and a bit sad that of all people, those who are supposed to be the strongest in their beliefs are those who are afraid more than anyone to be contaminated with conflicting views. If you're a Pupil of Torah and God, a devoted believer who will take any opportunity to defend your beliefs and to never ever question them - What are you afraid of? That a pair of feminine legs or a steamy SMS will convert you to disavow your religious beliefs? Are these people so fragile?

Well, the answer is that may well be that yes - They are so fragile. It's the leaders of the troops who are stern believers. the rest are troupes who do not know better. So why don't we put a Berlin Wall so that our devoted Communists will not ran away to the unfaithful Capitalists? Shut that Internet on my PC!

Of course, this is not something that Jewish Orthodox are unique at. Islam is great at taking fairly stupid people and making them believers who are not allowed to ever ask the "why" or the "what if". Christianity is probably like that, too, but I don't think they block your Internet connection so rigorously.

Apparently, the wall and the fence and river of boiling oil is many times necessary more to keep you from running away than to keep intruders out. If we're not masters of our souls, subjecting them to opposition and dissent, then My Home Is My fortress - or is it My Jail?
Enough Palsef for day one.